my HIStory

Faith is Not Denying Reality

It’s not pretending you don’t have a problem. Faith is not saying, “I’m not pain” when you are. It’s not saying, “ I don’t hurt” when you do. It’s not saying, “I’m happy” when you’re really grieving inside. That’s not faith; it’s phoniness! Faith is facing the facts without being disheartened by them because you know God is greater than the problem.

The problem of denying reality is we tend to deny a need of a Helper (or a need of healing, recovery, comfort). I unconsciously did that. But the moment I stop denying, and honestly come to God the way I am, broken-hurt-tired-confused and in a need of help, I find Him as the answer just the way I never knew before. When I was broken and hurt, I found Him understanding me first, then He began to heal and recover through a process. I always find Him as a Comforter. When I’m tired, He gives me rest. When I’m confused, I’m assured by Him.

Faith is facing reality without being discouraged by it. You know that God can change  a situation.

The key is to LOOK BEYOND your circumstances: “We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen (the problem) is temporary, but what is unseen (God’s power) is eternal” 2 Corinthians 4:18.

If you look at the world, you’re going to be distressed. There are problems everywhere!
If you look whitin, you’re going to be depressed, because there are a lot of things that need changing in your life.

But if you look at Jesus Christ, you’ll be at rest. It depends on where you are focused.

The Gift of Interruption

I was working this afternoon when my little niece called me, “ako di mana? cece tadi udah masuk sekolah baru lho, cece udah TK.” (cece is a nick name we called for her, since God sent her little brother to our family).

Well, I learn to be thankful for any interrupting-call from her. Cause I know I will miss these moments, so I’d be better treasure them.
In fact, I’m missing her “ako, cece mau mandi sama ako sambil bawa mermaid” (mermaid is a princess ariel doll I bought for her)
Missing her “ako, cece tadi makan banyak lho di sekolah, cece makan sendiri sampe habis” then I give a high five for her.
And many more.

Since I’m planner, I used to feel annoyed when someone or something interrupt my plans, or my schedule. But later God teaches me that sometimes interruption can be God’s way to remind that :

Relationship is more important than to-do-list,

That family of best-friends are more important than “things”,

That having personal time with Him is more important than checking social media (have you ever been interrupted by a bad signal?) :)


His Grace is sufficient for me.. :)

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Happy New Year 2015

Thank You Jesus for everything.
I won’t let every moment pass without learn something through it..:)

And I won’t put my own hope and trust in what 2015 will bring to me anymore. In fact, I cannot always choose my circumstances. I cannot always see things clearly or always understand why something happens completely.

Today new chapter, realizing that years come and go, seasons change, bitter and sweet things can happen upredictably. I choose to expect nothing but to walk with the One who’s carrying me with His everlasting arms. To trust that He is in control and He is always good to me. To let Him take over my life, to give Him more spaces to work through all things in my life.

I need You Lord. I really do! I need the greater power, I need the stronger hands to hold. And You are the only One I can depend on. Captive my heart to love You more, to honor You more, to respect You more, to fear You more, to listen You more.

I Was Sad, So I Wrote This

I was wrong. Sebelumnya aku sempat berkeluh kesah karena membayangkan Natal gonna-be-a-flat holiday, today I realized that it was a BIG mistake. In fact, my holiday was so fun! I had a quality time with my small family (with my niece & nephew for sure ^^), How I am thankful to God for this beautiful Christmas!
Tapi di sisi lain, Natal kali ini juga berselimut duka :(
Sebuah berita buruk datang tgl 28 Desember kemarin, berita hilangnya pesawat Air Asia QZ8501 jurusan Surabaya-Singapore.
Deeper in my heart, “Jesus, please do something. You have to do something.."
Tapi, setelah 2 hari pencarian dan sampai dengan hari ini sudah ditemukan serpihan pesawat dan banyak jenazah, sedikit kekecewaan timbul di hatiku. Yahh… Tuhan… Kenapa Tuhan?? :,(
Malam ini waktu saat teduh (harapan masih ada!) dan bacaan Alkitab, tertulis:
“… Akulah TUHAN”-Keluaran 6:1.
Ya, Dialah Tuhan. God is God and we are not.
Dia selalu tahu yang lebih baik, yang terbaik.
Dia tidak pernah meninggalkan ataupun melupakan kita.
Dia setia. Dia punya cara terbaik, jalan terbaik, rancangan yang terbaik.
Dia tetap baik. Apapun yang terjadi.
Dialah yang berkuasa atas dunia, atas manusia, atas hidup kita.
Dialah Tuhan.
Mungkin kita belum bisa mengerti.
Pasti tidak mudah melalui masa yang sulit ini.
Tapi Dia Allah beserta kita.
Jangan lepaskan pengharapan kita padaNya.
Dia tetap Tuhan yang bisa dipercaya.
My deep condolences goes to all the passengers of Air Asia QZ8501 and their families. God is with us.